So this is today. Another day full of 'I don't knows'. I feel so many things and I'm not sure what any of them are. Time will tell I guess. There's a day when I'm going to let this all out. Soon? Not necessarily. I'm pretty stubborn. I pray for brokeness and fight it at the same time.

I need a summer night in the middle of nowhere.

I've decided my singleness is going to take me places.

I mean, I've thought that before, just not in those words. I haven't been able to find an easy way to phrase it. I'm excited about living and loving life, traveling, discovering myself, and feeling God's presence.

That doesn't mean that I don't ever want to meet someone and get married. I may or I may not. I feel God can use me either way. I just know that I've enjoyed my singleness all these past years. It's given me a sense of freedom. It's given me a great sense of who I am and what I deserve, that I'm worth waiting for. It's helped me discover my dreams and know that I am capable of accomplishing them.

Hopefully I'll get to go home this summer. Though part of me wants to stay here. I'll miss the summer nights. In the summer, this campus is one of the most beautiful places on Earth. For many summers, this college was a little slice of paradise. The countless hours I spent under the stars engaged in meaningful conversation. We would talk about our heart's every desire while listening to the wind rustle through the leaves. Sitting down by the pond in the middle of the night. The nights I spent watching sheets of rain falling off the roof or listening to it while writing away in one of my many journals. The countless hours we would spend driving around Rochester intending to go absolutely nowhere but just continue to drive for hours discussing our every thought until we felt like going home. The times we would go to the beach. The times we would talk about God and how to follow his path with the gifts He bestowed upon us and the gratitude we feel for being called His child. The times we would play the piano and write our every thought. The times we would laugh and the times we would cry. I'll carry those times with me forever. I can honestly say those summers were the best times of my life. If you were still here I would probaby stay so we could spend one more summer having the time of our life, encouraging each other to find the depths of our soul and follow our dreams. It was so good that I wonder if I'll find that again in life and if I happen to find that peace again, when will it come? Because that is what I live for. It was in those times that my soul felt a freedom I cannot describe. I long for one more night like that.